Saturday, October 15, 2016

Should you get married?

Last week I gave you some awesome foundational information on how to have a rocking marriage. This week I want to share some cool stats and facts with you.

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(If you have not seen Kid History #4... it's a must see. )

Married adults are healthier than their non-married counterparts.
Married adults have lower rates of morbidity and mortality.
Married adults health benefits persist regardless of race, income, and health status prior to marriage.
Marital status at age 48 can predict chances of surviving to age 65.
Older married people are significantly healthier and have fewer physical limitations in life than their non-married friends.
Married people recover better from illness and surgery.
Married people are generally happier.
Married people have greater life satisfaction.
Married people have lower risk for depression.
Married people have greater economic stability.
Married people have better mental health.
When young adults married they experience an immediate decrease in depressive symptoms.
Marriage reduces the risk of mental disorders.
Married men have lower risks of depression and panic disorder.
Married women have a lower risk of substance abuse.
Married people have higher levels of social integration and emotional support.
Kids who grow up in a healthy marriage will also grow to be healthy. 

By the way, I am not posting here the reference for all these stats but I have them if you want. Let me know.

So, why did I share all these facts? As I mentioned before Satan is trying to tear down marriage. He wants to chew it up and spit it out. He ruined his chances of every getting married or reproducing and it just makes him so angry that we get to do that. So, he attacks the family. Media makes families look wasteful. Media makes marriages look like GAME OVER. Here's an example of what people find funny and share on their Facebook walls.

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m7ZveT4_Vgw/WALV276FLuI/AAAAAAAAKR4/1-WXDlnc_zoSQZ36i99dQnWKJhsJxz-ywCLcB/s1600/coffee.jpeg 

Marriage does not have to be this way! Clearly, as stated above, it isn't this way. You can make your marriage whatever you want it to be. Plus, according to Dr. Gottman,

"Comical as it may sound, romance actually grows when a couple are in a supermarket and the wife says, 'are we out of bleach?' and the husband says, 'I don't know. Let me go get some just in case,' instead of shrugging apathetically."

So husbands, take you wives grocery shopping and help out! Make your wives swoon!

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q3gqS5dzh5o/WALXVxp2fLI/AAAAAAAAKSE/ZMxNPiegdLoBOEt744IdEBxbAyJov5HpQCLcB/s400/swoon.jpg
(shared from Twitter)

So here's a question: Does marriage in and of itself actually cause these good things mentioned above or do people who are already healthy mentally and physically tend to get married more than others?

Answer: Both. While happier and healthier people are more likely to get and stay married they also increase in their health and happiness after marriage. Those who are married eventually drop addictions and take on healthier behavior to benefit their marriages.

(Here's us on our 14th wedding anniversary at WEM with the kids)

So, for those of you considering whether or not you want to deal with "a ball and chain" or "baggage" or "someone else's problems", the truth is, marriage is only that if you make it. If you go into it with the right attitude and the will to work through the rough stuff your marriage can actually be bliss. Bliss, pure happiness, what's better?

Edited: 12/10/2016 - Ideas and quotes were enhanced by the text book Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Edited by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper. I really recommend that everyone purchase and READ this book. It's so great.

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