Saturday, November 12, 2016

Prayer in Marriage

"When people perceive something as sacred, it changes the way they treat it."

Wow. So now, if I apply this to my marriage and believe that my marriage is sacred, then I should, in principle, treat it as such.

A wedding ring in the secular world shows commitment, whereas a sanctified view of the wedding ring could symbolize an eternal union between man and wife.

So, how do we get on board with sanctifying our marriages? I mentioned once before Elder Bednar's talk on our marriages being a triangle between man, woman, and God.
It's that simple, a major key to viewing your marriage as sacred is to include God as a member of the relationship. How can we do that? Prayer. President Thomas S. Monson's temple sealer told him, "I can assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feeling toward one another."

Now, unfortunately there are ways that you shouldn't pray together too. For example, Hubby shouldn't offer a couple prayer (together) that says, "Please bless Dear Wifey to get her head out of her butt and see things my way," and Wifey shouldn't offer a prayer that says, "Please God, let Hubby stop being such a ding bat and do his own laundry once in a while.

An awesome approach would be to do the opposite and instead Hubby says, "I am so grateful for Dear Wifey and appreciate that she spent the time making my lunch. I really notice and love those special touches," and Wifey could say, "I'm so grateful that Hubby is such a good provider and protector. I'm thankful that you gave me someone who loves to serve his family."

Another approach would be for Wifey to pray that God will help her understand Hubby's feelings, and even that she might be able to see him as God does, and vice versa. 

Another good time to pray is in the middle or at the beginning of a fight. Again, don't use words that would be offensive to your spouse, but pray for understanding and peace. Studies find that prayer helps couples to keep their anger in check during conflict and that it alleviates tension and helps facilitate open communication. 

God views our marriages as sacred, and we really should too. He has given us an open line of communication and He wants our marriages to succeed. Happy praying.

Edited: 12/10/2016 - Ideas and quotes were enhanced by the text book Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Edited by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper. I really recommend that everyone purchase and READ this book. It's so great.

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